This one.

I think I've realized what the problem is with trying to write my blog when I'm working. It's not that i haven't been trying, but everything I start ends up being deleted about two lines in. And if I'm not getting paragraphs, I really don't see the point. So the problem? I don't think much during the day. It makes my job more fun, but when i get home at about four, I have nothing to say.

The flipside to this is I'm having incredibly vivid, complicated dreams involving everybody and anybody I know, doing almost everything. Somehow my mind seems to be compensating for my general lack of stimulation daily by flooding me with ideas and situations while I sleep.

I've always enjoyed dreaming and sleeping, until I met someone reading Jung who kind of made me disregard the joy in dreaming. Jung makes it seem so straight forward and reliable. Recently I've been dreaming about people I knew when I was a child. Most probably because I don't really know any of the people I knew when I was a child. Also hills, mountains, staircases, ladders and escalators. Lots of height.

So naturally I've been thinking about it all and I've come to the conclusion that whatever it is, I don't want to think about it. I have a few things to get done this year but I think I'm probably not handling the pressure too well. Usually when I get like this I'll go for a walk. But I absolutely hate walking around my suburb. Nothing but swanky houses, antique shops and seven-elevens for blocks. I hate it. If I want to go somewhere I like I have to take a tram to the Botanical Gardens. It's not too far, but when I'm there I still know what behind the wrought iron fences there's just more apartments, cars and office blocks.

I think I'll need to go further out the relax. My connections with people who live in nature got cut off when I decided I hated my lover. He's a good person to know, but actually knowing him is a huge strain and rarely worth it. So I hate him, he doesn't know, and I don't know many more people to stay with in the country. I wish I lived in the late 1800s aristocratic circles.

Actually I've been thinking about hellenistic philosophers.

That's all.