Dear Blogger,

I've been thinking a lot about your suggestions for labels for this post, and every post. I don't have ten or so thousand dollars for a scooter, and I've just come back from a vacation. I might make myself fall to please you, but I offer instead blogger fan-fiction on the subjects you are most fond.

It's getting a little late, so I think I'll take you to bed with me. I hope I will not disappoint.

Yours (in bed),

white.suit

P.S. It's called The Internet Came For Me

I waited a while out by the beach. At dusk I walked back to my little shack, that straddled the little grassed mounds along the coast and lit all the oil lamps, hoping if you came later that night they would be a beacon for you. I'd taken sick leave, which would run out soon, plus they knew I wasn't sick, and most likely on a paid vacation, very clever I thought. And when that ran out maybe maternity leave, I was so far by then how were they to know. I wasn't actually going back to my job. But anyway.

The next day I went into the village to see you. Just on the computer, but it was enough to satisfy me. There were girls being fisted, a huge black man came on the face of a writhing young asian girl, who was tied to a chair. The money shot onto the chest of a latino in a french maids outfit. Classic. I missed you terribly, but seeing you there was sweet. I wrote in my blog how nice the seaside was here, though the skies were grey most days and the wind blew ferociously. I knew I couldn't just tell you come, you'd have to want to be here, and so I posted on facebook, and made sure to twitter so you knew I was still out here somewhere.

Then I went to the pub. There were a lot of men in the village, a disproportionate amount, but I wasn't interested. I would mention all the funny things you'd said, I'd make in-jokes, ones only you and I would get. I would pity them for not understanding us.They would buy me G and Ts and I would wait just long enough, then mention there was someone else. Not here, I would say, not yet.

But then one man laughed when I didn't expect him to, and joked with me in that oddly familiar way. We got along, it wasn't a betrayal, I thought only of you. He said he lived in a different town but came here for the beach. He offered to take me back to his place, I'm so sorry darling, but listen. I left with him. He had only one helmet for his old yellow scooter so I sat behind him with my hair whipping against the wind as we roared along the cliff-side. The moon was out, and the sea shone and we rode along for what seemed like hours. I thought we'd got to Scotland, and that I was done for, but actually I was asleep and he carried me to his flat.

When I woke up there you were. I was on a short couch in what looked like a living room and he was on the computer just staring at you. I couldn't believe it. He said good morning. I asked where I was and he told me. Apparently he'd felt me asleep just before we reached home, and hadn't wanted to wake me so he took me upstairs and let me sleep on the couch. He'd said since I didn't sleep with him, he didn't feel bad about putting me on the couch instead of his bed. I said he could have made it worse for me. He went to make us coffee and I clambered into the office chair in front of you and smiled. I asked if he minded if I used his computer and then made sure to let you know I was alive and had stayed faithful to you. I quickly searched xtube while he was in the the other room. Went on 4chan, twittered a few times and posted a video of some pug dog puppies on facebook.


That's all for now. Later Blog!